BOY meets girl.
Boy makes eyes at girl.
Girl does runner.
Boy uses internet to track down girl.
Boy posts cash reward for information leading to girl.
Boy finds girl.
Girl takes out restraining order.
It’s not exactly how the story is supposed to go, but it’s a potentially plausible result of a brand new stroke of internet ‘genius’ that has been designed to reunite single strangers.
Even in the days of social network sites and online dating, looking for love can be a soulless search.
But it’s no doubt made more frustrating when, across a crowded Connex, you think you’ve found The One – until, seconds later, they’ve disembarked from the bus, disappeared and left your life forever.
It’s now possible, however, that anyone smitten with a sexy stranger could, in fact, re-find Miss or Mr Right in the hope of taking a stolen glance that furtive flirt further.
A free service – www.flirtproject.net – has become the first online dating site for singletons who already know the person they’re looking for, but don’t know how to contact them and, in many cases, don’t even know their name.
Users can create an anonymous advert, describing the person they encountered and the circumstances of their meeting, together with a personal message.
Their advert is then posted on the site and all registered users fitting the description are sent an e-mail.
Scenarios range from close encounters in rife flirting zones, like bars and clubs, to fleeting glances in the gym and shared smiles in the taxi queue. Each is a story of missed romance, and for those who are really set on tracking down that special someone, users can even offer a cash reward.
Those offered on the site at the moment range from £5 to £200, showing that some are really very serious about seeking out a soul mate.
But – says singles club founder Carol Doherty (pictured) – where should you draw the line?
And how far should seeking out a soul mate be left to fate?
Carol, who runs the After8Club, says it is accepted that modern-day singles sometimes need a nudge.
Finding love these days is not as simple as it once was – our generation have more demanding jobs and work for longer hours, but even when we do get the chance to socialise, nights out are largely centred on laughing, drinking and dancing (and the odd drunken snog in a dark corner).
Gone are the days when DJs heralded the ‘last dance’, and the moment when singles would dare to partner up for a slow smooch to Sinead O’Connor.
So although we’d all much prefer to leave our love life to fate, it isn’t always, as Carol says, that easy.
‘Finding love isn’t as easy to some people as it is to others,’ she says. ‘To some degree I think you can take your own fate into your own hands, if or when the need arises.’
It is hardly surprising, then, that when people want to find somebody to love, they are looking in different places than they used to.
Speed dating and lonely hearts ads used to be a last resort for the desperate, but in today’s busy society, plenty now see it as an ideal way to meet new people.
And as technology has evolved, so too have the ways in which love has the chance to blossom.
Internet dating was once considered taboo, but it now gives more and more people the chance to find that someone special – and there are hundreds of thousands of safe, successful and trustworthy sites and singles clubs that offer organised dating and are seen as tried and tested way to find love.
Yet Flirtproject, says Carol, is not necessarily one of them. ‘Sometimes Cupid does need a little nudge, but I personally think this method is a little too drastic.
‘In my view this is not really “organised” dating as such. It’s more that you have seen someone you like, and wish to get in contact with them, but you don’t know how to.
‘In order for this to work, both parties would need to be like-minded in that they would use such a service in order to track the other down. But then isn’t this very similar to putting an advert in the back of the local newspaper?’ she says, and regarding its safety she adds: ‘I don’t like the idea of cash rewards – you could have anyone giving information out about you.
Somehow I don’t think close friends and family would, though – you could end up with stalkers. And with Facebook, MySpace and Bebo widely used it seems to be getting easier to use these services to track people down with added protection,’ she says.
Carol also agrees that love, in many cases, should be left to Cupid – which means that the stranger you met on the bus, who darted their eyes and made a quick dash for the next stop, probably wasn’t Miss or Mr Right (at least not mutually so) and in fact, for all you know, could be gay, part of the priesthood or happily married with children.
So perhaps you should leave them get on with it – as searching for love should be fun for both parties, and not the recipe for a restraining order.
Article posted on 6th June, 2008 - 2.50pm
