FLY is depressed.
Which, seeing as his lifespan is only about 15 days, is not a great way to be when the Deputies’ elections have just started.
But he just can’t help it. Like every sequel that follows a triumph (Jaws 2, James Belushi, Senator Ben Shenton) there is always an air of disappointment and a yearning for days past and Fly misses the cosy nature and intimacy of the Senatorial elections.
At the time, 21 candidates seemed an impossible number to cope with but he quickly grew to love them and all their quirks – the Mensa memberships, the burgundy jumpers and the pretty flowers worn by Time4Change are all fond memories for Fly.
With the Deputies, however, he just can’t get a handle on how many candidates are even running. (He tries to blame his compound eyes, but the editor attributes his confusion to a stash of empty sugar packets found under his little desk).
Also, the bizarre timings of the hustings have done little to improve his mood. While Fly understands that the parishes occasionally like to think of themselves as separate fiefdoms, he wonders why they cannot communicate enough to spread out the hustings a bit better.
For example, on Tuesday and Wednesday there will be eight separate hustings, creating a nightmare scenario for Fly as he tries to buzz around all the different parish halls in just a few hours.
Fly was briefly excited at the hustings at First Tower when, in answering a question about who they would like to see as the next Chief Minister, one of the candidates said that they had faith in someone sitting in the front row of the audience.
Fly was all of a fluster at the thought of JEP journalist Ramsay Cudlipp being promoted to the highest office in the land. But no, the candidate was in fact referring to Deputy and Senator-elect Alan Breckon. Cue shattering disappointment.
But don’t worry, humble reader, no matter what his mood, Fly will still endeavour to produce reams of irreverent, witty, insightful copy to both entertain the populace and keep the candidates on their toes. And if he is forced to take to his bed, Mrs Fly is itching for a chance to flex her wings and jot down her musings on the elections.
Article posted on 14th November, 2008 - 3.00pm
