Dealing with the tough times brought on by the credit crunch can be difficult, but Cliff Le Clercq says that there are ways to cope, both practical and psychological
IN these times of recession, it is almost impossible to escape the daily bad news which comes at us from all angles.
However, we must understand that negative thought and speech tends to become habitual.
Tough times require more disciplined thinking – otherwise we can talk down our situation and, before we know it, we are feeling defeated, angry and afraid.
Until now, things had generally been good for a long time. For many of us, an abundance of jobs and business had led us to consume on a grand scale – buying bigger houses, making bigger profits, buying more cars, going on more holidays and frequently dining out had become the norm.
It is inevitable, therefore, that the downturn is scaring a lot of people. I, certainly, have noticed an increase in recent requests for help.
For a while, as money pours in easily, we generally feel safe and relaxed, but as the flow of income is restricted, we become stressed.
As I am unable to wave my wand and dispense £50 notes in copious amounts, what can be done? Recently, a client said to me: ‘What’s the use of talking? It’s money I need!’
I sympathise, but there is an awful lot that can be achieved by counselling, as he found out.
As the fear of the uncomfortable situation deepens, desperation and panic take over, and we are like rabbits in the headlights.
We become unable to think creatively, and usually obvious alternative actions elude us.
The mind can become overloaded and we quickly become ill.
Bad temper, depression, upset stomach and poor sleeping all contribute to personal decline.
My guess is that there will be more sick days taken this year than ever before – being financially overstretched is one thing, but to lose one’s ability to make sense of it, through sheer emotional and physical fatigue, is highly demotivating and confidence-sapping.
This is where two heads are better than one, to be able to talk things through with perspective.
By now, we have probably become confused with those factors we can control, and those we can’t, but establishing and defining the difference is vital to figuring out how to handle the situation, because while we can’t control the credit market, or boost the economy, we can get expert advice.
That advice doesn’t have to be financially prohibitive – there are some very clever people whose job it is to give assistance, like those at the Citizens Advice Bureau, who can help to rearrange your finances.
Although I don’t wish to patronise anyone, I am continually surprised at how little some of us know about our rights, and about other alternatives – did you know, for example, that a credit card can be stopped, and the interest halted?
For some of us, a credit card bill arriving, or a phone call from your credit card company, can have stomach-churning effects and throw some people into panic or despair.
Then there are mortgages to be paid – the thought of losing one’s home is excruciating, but interest-only payments can be set up for a short period to free up much-needed money and allow for some breathing space.
Getting help and assistance is definitely not an admission of failure, but it does take courage, and once you have done so, it can make you feel much better. You can’t achieve very much while you are paralyzed with fear.
In most cases these tactics can save money and relieve the situation. Finding the courage to be honest is a great fear-buster – there are few things more stressful in life than trying to appear to be something you are not.
Pride tends to kick in at this stage, but it is no use at all and, to make matters worse, the stress of trying to keep the situation a secret from your partner can be crippling.
Usually, it’s much better to own up and admit that your job, or your funds, are shaky.
Unless your partner is particularly frail, and can’t take it, the relief is enormous.
There are few more despairing situations than a spouse being unable to sleep, sitting alone at the kitchen table, frantically going over the bills and expenses and trying to make things add up.
You are not Superman, and you are not a failure just because things are getting tough for a while.
Get the kids around the table and explain that you can’t afford to splash out on all the things that you used to, but you’ll get through it, because you are a family who stick together.
Yes, some tantrums may ensue, but the unity and binding once everyone accepts things is empowering, and much more preferable to Dad almost killing himself by trying, valiantly, to do the impossible.
Ladies, it’s time to stand by your men – and men, if you are going to talk about it, make sure you pick the right time. Don’t just come home and dump it all on your partner, without warning.
A word or two if you are unemployed and feeling hopeless – job-seeking can be very disheartening – if, one day, things get too much, and you find yourself in the pub, and drowning your sorrows, remember alcohol is a depressant and offers only temporary relief.
So, the following day, put it behind you, get up, have a shower and a shave, put on clean shirt and tie – it’s amazing how dressing smartly can boost your confidence, lift the spirits and make you feel better – and then set up some more appointments and get out there and try again.
Or, alternatively, why not consider setting something up of your own? Many new businesses have been born of necessity, and the Jersey Business Venture can give you some good advice, and help you put together a business plan.
It’s also worth talking to the Enterprise Board if you have a good idea – work it out, and show them what you have.
I have lived through a few of these times, yet I cannot say whether this recession will be worse or better than before. Either way, however, it will pass.
Hang onto the things in life that have real value – friends, family and a sense of fun and humour.
Accept the things we cannot change and have courage to change the things we can. Seek to know the difference, and believe in yourself.
If you have any questions about the above article, or you would like to pose a question about any other issue, including dealing with depression, addiction or stress, you can contact Cliff on 888456, or click here and enter your question online.
Article posted on 29th May, 2009 - 3.00pm
