I’m fully aware that I risk being hauled before the firing squad of the great British tele-voting irregular army, but I readily hold my hands up in defiance.

I AM not sure if there’s a specific term for a ‘fan’ of elections is, but ballot box enthusiasts can certainly feel well catered for over the past week or so.

LAST Thursday I became a statistic, a target in a long line of unsuspecting victims of the internet hacker brigade.

Call me a cynic if you wish, but I make no apologies for finding George Osborne’s claim that his recent UK budget was ‘designed to reward work’ about as convincing as weapons of mass destruction being discovered under La Hougue Bie.

‘IT’S always better to give than to receive.’ Such were my dad’s words as he supervised our parcelling up a selection of previous year’s toys to take to the Christmas tree in the Royal Square for what I guess you’d now call recycling.

After being born, the two certainties generally accepted to befall us are dying and paying taxes. Indeed, as soon as our forefathers organised themselves into social groups, the way was prepared for us to pay to live.

HAVE you ever been in debt? No? Maybe you’ve not considered it as personal debt, but I’ve got news for you – we’re all in debt.

I AM as guilty as the rest by repeating it, but it was the personality-challenged 38th President of the United States, Gerald Ford, who for all his undoubted achievements earned the acid rebuke from political opponent LB Johnson as being unable to chew gum and walk at the same time.

THERE was a time not too long ago when tourist numbers were real and not virtual arrival statistics, and when an early Easter would hail a holiday trip to Elizabeth Castle.

WE’VE heard a lot over the past couple of weeks about ‘special relationships’, particularly the increasing evidence that they are not all they’re cracked up to be.

SO, the shoppers’ ‘footfall’ in St Helier during the first two months of 2012 has dropped by 6.8%, or twice 77,000 soles. I’m not sure I know how they calculate that, but there’s been a palpable reduction of folk with bags since the sales splurge after Christmas.

ANYONE who reads my weekly musings will certainly have gathered that below my bonnet there beats the heart of an amateur transport enthusiast – I think we’re called ‘anoraks’.