THE application process to appoint the next shift at Charlie Chuckle’s Laughter Factory is under way, with 21 applicants out of the traps and vying for six of the top spots on the gravy train.

Close behind the Senatorial candidates are nine more hopefuls, competing to represent four parishes in the block vote section. And there’s even more election fever to look forward to. Once the Senators and Constables are done and dusted, we can set our minds to choosing our Deputies. Oh my giddy aunt. What an exhilarating few weeks we face.

If only the process to find our next crop of politicians were really that exciting. It could have been so different, of course, if only we’d listen-ed to a knight of the realm by the name of Clothier. In spite of years of endless navel contemplation, nothing has radically changed — apart from a half-hearted ‘general election’ for Senators and Constables on the same day. Jersey’s apathetic electorate will have to sit through the same turgid hustings to elect the same number of Members to do what all those before them have done: talk and talk and, if an odd one or two don’t like the outcome, come back and talk and talk again.

Whatever happened to the sensible proposal to elect all Members on one day? Not only would it have saved time and public money, it would also have truly sorted out the wheat from the chaff. With only one shot at the big prize, candidates would have had to think long and hard about their true intentions and suitability for the job.

An Islandwide election on one day made sense to the public and the experts. The problem was that the final say lay with those with the vested interests. And, as the saying goes, never ask turk-eys to vote for Christmas.
The day after last week’s Senatorial nominations meet-ing, Jersey’s ‘thinking and chattering classes’ were not animated outside the coffee shops by the prospect of a new political dawn. Far from it. The consensus was that there will only be one new face in the House when the last Senatorial vote is counted — and that candidate is already a respected household name in the Island.

In all honesty, the overwhelming majority of first-timers might as well give up now and stay at home. Unless, of course, they are raising their profiles for the elections for Deputies in November. But surely they wouldn’t sink to such selfish depths?

As it is, there may be more people on some platforms than in the audience. With each candidate allocated fiveminutes to spout forth, followed by each of the 21 having two minutes to devote to every question, meetings will consist of about two hours of speeches followed by two or three questions. No doubt one of those will be on GST.
The prospect of staying at home, slapping a coat of em-ulsion on a wall and watching the paint dry seems a far more riveting way of spending an autumn evening.

There is one section missing from what promises to be a very long ballot paper. It is a category for those who believe in the right to exercise their franchise but are disillusioned with our political system and politicians.
Thousands of Islanders refuse to vote, or simply don’t bother to. They feel they are not represented but have no alternative. So they stay at home, lament the sorry state of Jersey among friends, call the radio moanline or write letters to the JEP. This self-imposed disenfranchisement is not because of apathy, but because the public truly rejects the way in which the Island is governed and places no confidence in the organised opposition.

These disenchanted souls should be given a voice by being allowed to tick a box labelled ‘None of the above’.
This is a proposal that is gathering support in many democracies where governments are elected by fewer than 50 per cent of the votes cast. Such a strategy in Jersey could be the only way to register dissatisfaction with the States — and, if a substantial number of voters do so, then Members will at last have to listen.

Such negativity does work. The fall of the Berlin Wall and the demise of Communism in Europe had much to do with the Polish electorate turning out in force in 1989, not to vote for the only candidates on the ballot paper but to register their dissent and protest against the lack of Solidarity candidates. The results were null and void; the election was run again with Solidarity fielding candidates, and a former shipworker from Gdansk eventually became president. The rest, as they say, is history.

Thousands of pounds of public money are being spent to encourage us to vote. But votes should be cast wisely. No amount of advertising, posters and leaflets will engage the voters if they don’t have faith in the system.
The free democratic pro-cess did not come cheap. It took generations to win universal suffrage.

On 15 October, you can vote for up to six candidates. The important thing to remember is that it is not compulsory to use all six votes. If you really want to make the establishment sit up and take notice, add a few words to the bottom of the ballot paper. ‘None of the above’.