AS you can imagine, the ‘Last of the Summer Wine’ corner of the pub – where all the old lads tend to congregate – was buzzing the other evening and it wasn’t because Tottering Hotspur were knocking lumps out of Liverpool on the idiot box either.

After reading the very full and detailed accounts of happenings at the Rouge Bouillon slammer – I’ve been told off for calling it The Kremlin (despite the fact that I first heard the expression from a serving police officer), so I must remember not to refer to it like that – quite frankly, I don’t know what to make of it all.

Just a few months ago this small rock was being portrayed in the national and international media as some sort of giant secret society with a carpet big enough to cover the Ecréhous at low tide under which all manner of things had been swept for the last three or four generations.

Then you had what amounted to little short of character assassination on the few who dared criticise this coverage as being outrageously incorrect – notably The Boss in his Liberation Day speech – and once again the Island was on the receiving end of what can only be described as a fair amount of welly.

Not even the late Clarrie Dupré, in his heyday as Tourism head lad – no matter how disappointing visitor numbers were they were always said by him to be ‘not as good as last year but better than the year before’ – could have done much about the publicity. Indeed, it would have taken more than him and a few bikini-clad models handing out Jersey holiday brochures on the platform at Waterloo Station in the middle of January to have retrieved the situation.

And then came along a mild-mannered man – but, my goodness, he has a presence – from Northumbria called David Warcup who, in a tone totally devoid of emotion (he reminded me of that pinstripe from the Ministry of Defence at the time of the Falklands War whose voice never altered, from describing the attack on HMS Sheffield to the taking of Port Stanley and the defeat of the Argentines) proceeded to tell it as it actually was.

No bluster or vague generalities, no thinly veiled suggestions about bodies, obstruction, cover-ups or the like. Just a straightforward explanation of the information and evidence received or discovered by the States police as he, an equally experienced colleague in Detective Superintendent Michael Gladwell and a case review by senior officers from the Metropolitan Police all saw it.

And the nub of that is that that the ‘blood’ wasn’t blood, the ‘shackles’ weren’t shackles and of more than a hundred bone fragments that were seized upon by those pursuing an agenda of their own, no more than two or three might be human and two of them date back to the time of the War of the Roses when Plantagenet kings ruled England.

So where does that all leave us – the great unwashed who are footing the bill, not only for the inquiry but also for the enormous economic damage this ‘farce’ (as it was described in more than one section of the national media last week) has done to this community?

Just as important is the question of where it leaves the dedicated men and women of the States of Jersey Police who must be wondering what on earth is going on, what with the retirement of the man at the centre of the investigation – someone who gave the impression, erroneous or otherwise, that he was as fatally attracted to media attention as a moth is to a candle – the suspension of their Chief Officer, whose profile since this investigation began has been lower even than that of former Home Affairs Minister Wendy Kinnard, and now a new team at the top who seem to be standing recent history on its head?

One of my drinking companions the other evening suggested that the Island and the thin blue line that stands between society and anarchy is now up the creek without a paddle. I told him then and I repeat it now – I beg to differ.

I think it leaves the Island and its police force in better shape than it was a week ago and I hope that the victims of whatever crimes were committed at Haut de la Garenne will come to see it that way also. This clearing-the-air exercise carried out by the current hierarchy appears to me to have disposed of what they clearly believe should not be pursued and that, surely, leaves the way clear for all the considerable police experience the Island now has at its disposal to concentrate on the principal objective – that of investigating the very serious allegations of criminal abuse which have been made and, where possible, bring perpetrators to justice, in our own courts and with no outside interference.

As to what falls outside the scope of the judicial process or disciplinary procedures, I’m afraid the investigation promised by the current Home Affairs Minister, Andrew Lewis, does not go nearly far enough.
I happen to think that those of us who foot the bills will not be satisfied with anything less than a full and very public inquiry. Furthermore, I would suggest that it should be chaired by a judge of the Court of Appeal (we import them only when necessary, so there should be no suggestion of bias there) sitting with one or more people experienced in political and law enforcement matters.

And finally . . . A memo from one little Pedantic Percy to another. Roy Le Hérissier seeks to belittle his States colleagues’ attempts at a little entente cordiale now and again. Most people I talk to in the Avranches Arms don’t even know who their prime minister is, let alone if he is more or less influential than France’s vice-president. Surely there are more important things to get hot under the collar about than this petty issue.