From Matthew Robins.
I’M grateful to you for choosing Friday 13 March, the coincidence of Comic Relief day and the socialists’ guided tour of our finance landmarks, as the perfect date to publish my last letter.

On Saturday I discovered, to my horror, that my prized Licence to Operate under the Publication of Satirical Letters (Jersey) Law 2004 had expired. This possibly explains the surprising number of people who did not detect the irony in my first letter and took it at face value. Or perhaps it shows that JEP readers are quite used to seeing wild and outlandish views expressed without irony in the letters pages.

For the record, I haven’t gone loony. I was seeking to parody a certain kind of letter that’s become popular in these pages of late, the kind that paints 4x4s as the source of all social and environmental ills. These are the main points I was trying to make.

The obsession with 4x4s, and cars in general, as sources of CO2 emissions is an unhelpful distraction from other, more important environmental issues – such as the horribly thermally inefficient homes that most of us live in. Critics should look at their own emissions credentials in the round before lashing out at people with big cars. The motor industry is getting its act together much faster than Britain is sorting out its ageing housing stock.

Those who seek to bully or legislate 4x4s off the road and onto the scrap heap need to think carefully about the impact of such a policy. In particular, they should propose a way of mitigating the massive emissions that would be generated in the manufacture of the replacement new cars that would be bought down the line. Better that 4x4s are used and properly maintained to the end of their useful lives.

Those who see conspicuous consumption as a social ill should take care to distinguish their position from the argument that sees conspicuous consumption as an environmental threat. All too often the two are confused in letters to these pages.

Despite the hordes of selfish, reckless, blonde 4×4 drivers making our roads a living hell (note: that bit was ironic), Jersey remains a truly wonderful place to live. It would be even nicer if certain among us were more tolerant of the lifestyle choices of others. After all, we all have to rub along together, just like two 4x4s in a country lane.
For my next letter, I’ll try to be a little less ironic. You never know who you might upset with a dose of satire.
Les Toits Rouges,
Mont Cochon,
St Helier.