I had to throw away my ‘terrorist’ Jersey cheeses

Thursday 24th September 2009, 2:59PM BST.

From Sam Le Breton.
BUY local they said, so I did: three small, round, perfectly formed Jersey cheeses bought from the Co-op, Charing Cross.

Only Jersey Airport Security said this is not cheese ‘it is paste’, so my Jersey cheeses, instead of a culinary delight, became a ‘terrorist threat’.

No amount of appealing to common sense would prevail and I was offered the choice of posting the cheeses – hardly a sensible choice given the state of the UK postal system – or I could go back to the Flybe check in, queue up, reclaim my suitcase and pack them in it by which time, no doubt, the plane would have left without me.

I asked the supervisor to let me collect them on my return: ‘Not possible’. So I had to throw them in a green wheelie bin in the security area, which raises the question, if Jersey Cheese is suspect explosive, why wasn’t there a bomb proof container to put it in?

Look on the BAA website I was told. I have – no mention of cheese as a security risk let alone Jersey Cheese.

Of course, I understand the need for such searches and security but have we really got to the point where we no longer have any right of appeal to common sense and reasonableness in such situations?

1
Spring Heeled Jack

September 24, 2009 at 3:57 pm

Sadly this kind of event is a common occurrence experienced by most regular travellers using Jersey airport.
Terrorist threats are a godsend to such imbecilic jobsworths who thrive on the power that confiscating cheese brings them.
I experienced this myself a couple of weeks ago.
After arranging to meet friends from the airport, I saw them coming out of the terminal as I drove into the airport area.
I stopped in the drop off point ( I know , I know, but I would have been maybe 1 minute whilst my passengers climbed in ). Lo and behold a “security” goon appeared and told me that due to the threat of a terrorist attack by way of driving a car laden with explosive into the terminal building I would have to move.
I pointed out that :
1. I was parked.
2. My car was clearly not packed with TNT or Kalashnikovs.
3. I had at no point shouted “death to the imperial infidel dogs”.
4. The large breasted ladies parked and chatting outside of their cars when I arrived were still there and had not been moved on.
But nope, he was having none of it and I was forced to drive to the car park, call my friends and tell them to walk back and pay 60p for the privilege.
I noted that the large breasted ladies were still there when I left and the goon had gone back to his cave.

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2
Magnolia Man

September 24, 2009 at 5:10 pm

This letter and the comment above illustrate the sheer blind stupidity of Jersey Airport’s security goons.

About a year ago I went through security carrying an artificial potted orchid plant in a plastic supermarket bag. For the avoidance of any error or doubt, the operative word is “artificial”.

I was asked – in all seriousness – by a female security operative whether I had a phyto-sanitary certificate for the plant. I of course said no.

She then started ranting about nature protection, illegal export of goods, the swinging fine that I would get, and tried to forcibly snatch the – artificial – plant from my hands.

It was only the intervention of a certain States senator who happened to be next in the queue that resolved this comical incident.

The plant still sits on my aunt’s sideboard in Newcastle. I wonder what happened to the female security officer at Jersey Airport?

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3
bella

September 24, 2009 at 6:26 pm

I blame tony blair for this.
He made britain unsafe for travellers with his “weapons of mass destruction”
Jush one more reason why I hate travelling by air,and avoid it like the plague.

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4
Warren J

September 24, 2009 at 11:21 pm

Re #1 – I also got moved on due to a perceived security risk – I am in my 40′s, looked reasonably smart, and was driving a middle aged Jersey registered car which had my 4 year old son in the back.

While I understand that a bloke drove a car into Glasgow Airport last year I am not sure if having a Security Goon on hand would have stopped him !

I think this is more a ploy to increase revenue at the car park rather than security, otherwise cars would not be allowed near the terminal building at all – There would be a drop off point near the Rugby Club and people walked from there.

Re # 3 – I agree. As things have turned out this year, I have not had to fly However, there is now evidence of Security searches at the harbour

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5
baggage handler

September 24, 2009 at 11:57 pm

there is no common sense when it comes to g4s at jersey airport i should know i work there,once they get the uniform on they go power mad.

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6
Spring Heeled Jack

September 25, 2009 at 10:58 am

Anyone remember the good old parking days at the airport ?
Nice little man in a hut who would charge pennies for a stay and nothing for up to 20 minutes. If you had a little chat with him then he would often not even charge you at all.
Not something fitting in the corporate money grabbing world of todays airport but a nice old Jersey touch.

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7
Leah Holmes

September 25, 2009 at 2:01 pm

Funnily enough I suspect that despite all these over-zealous searches that terrorists will still find a way. I understand the need for security but maybe there is also a need for these security people to have enough intelligence to work out if something could actually be a threat?

A fake plant? It will be x-rayed so it will be checked for anything hidden inside. What else could you do with it?

Security is adding to the weight on planes. If going away for a weekend I now need to put a bag in the hold (because of makeup!) when I could have it all in hand luggage.

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