The sound of a takeover by the UK

Wednesday 4th November 2009, 2:59PM GMT.

From Chris Fairbairn.
‘WHAT’S that noise?’ my uncle Snowden La Neige asked as we crawled over the last pile of rocks just off L’Etacq in our final sortie on the fishy world that dwelt under the stones and rocks in the hope of a last feed before winter, and on the last good tide.

Well, it certainly was not the sound of lobsters giving their hiding places away, and not the sound of the population of our lovely Island asking Senator Syvret to come back, and it certainly wasn’t the pathetic sound of whistles in the Royal Square as Senator Syvret’s diminishing number of supporters protested against my new hero – William Bailhache. No, it was something far more important than those.

As I listened more carefully, I thought that it sounded as if it came from Plémont. Was it the sound of the much-publicised ‘digital switch-over’, which in some circles who live around the huge mast high on the northern cliffs (you know who) is considered to be a ploy to get us under the control of the UK government from down our TVs?

So, I suggest that the UK government has had a visit from an exiled Jersey politician who, unable to convince his fellow Islanders that the world, or in his case, the Island that still pays him £45,000 a year to play childish games is against him, has convinced Gordon Brown that Jersey should be ‘controlled’. A bit Orwellian, maybe?

Mind you, my tinnitus has been a bit lively recently – so it could well be that again.

1
Magnolia Man

November 4, 2009 at 3:40 pm

Mister Syvret has been ‘en defaut’ from the States Assembly – but ‘en Angleterre’ – for quite some days now. During that time he has published three signed stories (and not a few coyly anonymous ones, too) on his website.

Nevertheless, we are still waiting to read a long, triumphant account of the open-handed welcome he received at Gatwick on his arrival.

He has yet to regale us with how he has routed Jack Straw, and sent that gentleman scuttling for safety.

Funny that; we’ve seen absolutely no news about his sojourn, other than the fact that he had fled from the law here in Jersey.

In short, isn’t it about time that Mister Syvret’s adoring acolytes heard the truth? Airy promises

The truth is that Superman Syvret, by skulking in England has achieved absolutely nothing at all. He is wasting his time – and the taxpayers’ money.

Even one of Syvret’s staunchest supporters in the States Assembly is losing faith: Deputy Montfort Tadier this morning proposed that Stuart Syvret be excused from sitting in the States as he is “in exile”.

The vote was 47 ‘contre’ and zero votes ‘pour’. Not even Monty voted for his own proposition.

Such is public support for Mister Syvret these days.

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2
Son of Shlomo

November 4, 2009 at 3:49 pm

As far as the UK Government is concerned Syvret’s credibility in political terms is about the same as the late Screaming Lord Sutch.

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3
Magnolia Man

November 5, 2009 at 9:32 pm

Mister Stuart Syvret, the notorious Jersey outlaw, has been hiding away in London for more than a week now.

He stated on his web site that he was “working on a final submission – Final Notice Before Action – which [he] will see that Mr Straw receives in the coming week or so.”

Mister Syvret continued, “The report will itemise many of the malfeasances of the Jersey oligarchy – and ask Mr. Straw to fulfil his duties – which he himself has conceded he possesses – in respect of good governance and the proper administration of justice in Jersey.”

Our skulking erstwhile Senator concluded by airily writing “He [Jack Straw] will, of course, take not one atom of notice.”

If Syvret knows that, why is he wasting his time – and our money, paid to him as a salary to sit in the States Assembly of Jersey – on what he readily admits is a fool’s errand?

Stay in London, Mister Syvret; unbelievably, Jersey is managing very nicely without you. In the meantime, not a single soul in London cares about you.

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