SO it’s official: States sittings are boring, politicians love the sound of their own voices, and a lot of debates are a waste of time.

Don’t take my word for it, Treasury Minister Philip Ozouf, senior Scrutiny chairman Ben Shenton and at least some of the Privileges and Procedures Committee – crazy name, crazy committee – agree.

This is momentous stuff folks, really. The idea that Senators Ozouf and Shenton could agree on anything is weird enough – in the language of 1950s boxing commentators ‘these two men just plain don’t like each other’ – but adding Privileges to the mix makes it damn near uncanny. And almost certainly true.

The committee are looking at whether the States should limit the length of speeches and debates, and empower whoever’s sitting in the presiding officer’s seat to take a harder line on people repeating themselves, the constant flow of interruptions – and people repeating themselves.

Most politicians seem reasonably happy with this idea. One pointed out that when he joined the States more than a decade ago, most sittings were wrapped up in a day, perhaps two, and that nowadays, three or four-day sittings are not uncommon.

A month ago the States managed four days of ranting, squabbling and occasionally debating without actually finishing off the list of things that they were there to discuss.

So, Privileges’ review would be a reasonable thing, you might think.
Well, no. Not according to one Member who phoned up a little discombobulated the day that Privileges made their announcement.

An attack on democracy, he said. An infringement of Members’ rights, he postulated. A desperate ploy by a Council of Ministers to stem off more of the defeats that they have seen recently, he suspected.

I was worried for a moment that he was about to make a speech right then and there for my sole benefit, but he let me off the hook.

Anyway, I felt that his suspicion was a little unfair – not to ministers, but to everyone else.

The Council of Ministers have had a few knockbacks recently, on fun topics like the Millennium Town Park, a tenant’s deposit protection scheme and plans to expand everybody’s favourite Waterfront development agency. But I don’t think that those defeats were swung by the fact that anyone spoke for a long time.
They probably weren’t swung by any speeches at all (few debates are).

The defeats were probably swung by the fact that most Members thinking was that the Council of Ministers happened to be wrong. That’s it.

There’s more to politics, government and democracy than having the right to say whatever you want for as long as you want. What’s more important is saying something that makes sense and that a majority of people can agree with.

And I can prove it. Not so long ago, a new Deputy who I am in far too good a mood to name made an introductory speech almost 26,000 words long, and lost a debate. That’s almost a hundred times longer than the Gettysburg address, which is probably the most famous speech in history and which most of us could quote from, even though it happened hundreds of miles away, and almost 150 years ago.

A POSTSCRIPT. Hot on the heels of the official declaration that States sittings are boring, and with the kind of instinctive timing that has served the Quérée men well over the generations, my dad has decided to pop down to the States Chamber tomorrow morning to have a look for himself.

He is not the suffering-fools-gladly type. It is going to be hilarious. Edited highlights of his first visit to the seat of government will be presented next week.

The things you see when you’re wandering around town, minding your own business.

Last week, it was Frank Walker. Well, I say it was Frank Walker. It was a guy who looked like Frank Walker, only ten years younger and…smiling.

Very odd.

Either way, Frank, or an imposter, invited me to cast my mind back to previous stories which alleged that he was lining himself up for the chairmanship of the Waterfront Enterprise Board, and reflect on them.

Happy to do so. Although the information looked pretty good at the time and came from a reliable source, it didn’t turn out to be the case. Sorry.