WHEN it came to composing this week’s column I found myself spoilt for choice from the rich pickings that filled the pages of this esteemed newspaper over the previous week.

Could I expand over a half-page my outrage at the 14 per cent hike in parking charges when there is £12 million – a mere peccadillo on the Jersey scale of public spending – sitting gathering dust in the car park trading fund? Or what about Planning’s approval for Bergerac character Charlie Hungerford’s mansion to be demolished to make way for three houses?

It was certainly a difficult choice, as Treasury appears to be dipping into the car park fund willy-nilly to pay for totally unrelated projects. While it could be argued that siphoning off £500,000 for the eastern cycle track is not unreasonable, I am yet to be convinced that this project will persuade the burghers of the eastern parishes to leave their luxury cars or gas guzzling monstrosities at home.

Unless Porsche, BMW, Mercedes or Range Rover come up with an equally ‘poseur’ bicycle it could work – but why get into a sweat straining on two wheels when heated seats, air conditioning and power steering are the alternatives?

Think of a car park trading fund and what comes to mind? Yes, you’ve got it go straight to the top of the class: car parks! Not, as Treasury were reported to presume, as a top-up fund for health care for the elderly or mains drains extension. Mind you, as someone who relies on storing waste in a hole in the ground – even in the 21st century, people in this affluent Island are expected to dispose of their effluent via ‘Third World’ systems – anything that brings the sewers closer is OK by me.

What was even more galling from a tax payer’s point of view was Transport Minister Mike Jackson registering his concern about Treasury dipping into his coffers by saying: ‘That’s democracy for you!’ No, Mr Constable, it is not democracy; it is robbing Peter to pay Paul!

As for the eastern cycle track, I’m calling Honest Nev to assess the odds but I expect to be relaxing in the Town Park before me and the Jack Russells can enjoy an off-road saunter in the east as much as we do from St Aubin to Corbière. That is, of course, if walkers are allowed to use it. If it is to become the preserve of two-wheelers then why spend so much money in the first place?

The loss of Hungerford’s palatial pad above Ouaisné, while not a disaster in terms of preserving the Island’s built heritage, is nonetheless symptomatic of a worrying trend to replace single houses with ostentatious developments that sit incongruously in the environment.

All over the Island, what look like perfectly sturdy dwellings are being raised to the ground for some ‘iconic’ grand design or fake granite farmhouse to take their place.

No doubt the three dwellings that will occupy Winward House’s rolling lawns will be large and very expensive. They will also come -– as is the growing fashion of the modern luxury houses popping up hither and thither – with sweeping drives and huge security gates.

In addition, just to make sure that the ordinary folk know how wealthy the occupants are, these mansions will be bathed throughout the night in security lighting and scanned by CCTV just in case a passing cat burglar happens to attempt to break in. That’s if some latter day ‘Pink Panther’ can get over the high fencing and past the guard dogs.

If the crime rate is so high to warrant such expensive security precautions and illuminating houses – and surrounding areas – like 24-hour service stations, why hasn’t Crime Prevention issued an Islandwide warning? We may not live in an entirely crime free community but this little rock is still a relatively safe place to live and walk the streets after dark.

It was thoughts of the Island’s long lost and lamented railways that made me realise that I had a deprived childhood. Not in the tragic sense of ill treatment but that I had grown up in a community without a railway network and trains.

Forget air travel and the inconvenience of checking in hours early and undergoing intrusive searches, and the nauseating experience of taking a boat, there is nothing more romantic than train travel – with the exception of inner London and Network SouthEast!

There would be no need for a car park trading fund if trains still ran from town to Gorey and Corbière. Rush hour traffic would be far lighter and there would be plenty of time to read national newspapers on the way to work and the JEP on the return leg.

The sheer enjoyment of train travel was brought home by the recent BBC 2 series in which former Tory grandee Michael Portillo retraced the golden age of the British railway network, following a timetable from 1839. Over three weeks that saw television schedules dominated by soap after soap and reality rubbish, it was a crime of entertainment that this gem of a series was tucked away at 6.30 pm. I missed more than I saw but revelled in those I caught.

Seeing this once reviled cabinet minster in his new career, I recalled the early hours of 2 May 1997 when I, like thousands nationwide, danced around the living room as he lost his seat in the Labour landslide General Election victory that brought Tony Blair to power.

During his time as Minister of Transport, Portillo did a service to the country and train lovers the world over when he saved ‘God’s own railway’ – the Settle to Carlisle route – from closure. In an example to all politicians he put heritage above balance sheets so that trains would continue to travel through some of the finest scenery in the world. Moreover, trains continue to pass over the 24 arches of the curved Ribblehead Viaduct – a sight to bring tears to the eyes of all train devotees, particularly when the Flying Scotsman is on a trip out of the National Railway Museum in York.

It just goes to show that you shouldn’t always take people, or anything come to that, at face value – such as planning applications and car park trading funds.