AS The Reader may have realised after all these years, there are times when I get so thoroughly exasperated with that lot in the Big House that I wish we had a railway so that I could stand under a bridge and scream to my heart’s content whenever a train went over it.

When I read last Tuesday’s newspaper I felt like heading out to the Railway Walk in the hope that the ghost of Calvados – not the medicinal drink with life-extending properties, but the famous old steam engine which used to ply its trade on Jersey’s railways – might pass noisily over Don Bridge so that I could have a damn good scream.

I had just read one of the most stupid statements I have ever seen from one of elected representatives – nay, not only an elected representative, but a poll-topper also and a minister to boot.

Ian Le Marquand, so I am told, is an extremely intelligent man. Hitherto the two occupants of Chez Clement have had a fair amount of time for him, to some extent on Herself’s part because she knew his old man, Bryan, who used to have the seed shop on the corner of Cattle Street and Beresford Street.

But when contemplating such a sweeping generalisation as ‘the police are overpaid’ and branding as ‘terrible’ the fact that until they have completed 12 years’ service they receive annual pay increments, why on earth did he not pause to ask someone just a couple of simple questions before he went off on one?

The first, before seemingly singling out the police, should have been something along the lines of: ‘Do these incremental pay increases apply to any other group in the public sector?’
I made a couple of fairly swift telephone calls and established that, yes, there are other groups in the government’s employ who do receive annual incremental increases, although perhaps not many that last for 12 years.

The second question should have removed the need for him to describe the pay system as a terrible one. He went on to say that people should not be paid more just because they had been there longer. All he had to do was ask someone why those who had ‘been there longer’ were paid more.

The answer, Senator Le Marquand, is that by and large the public is better served by experienced people than it is by inexperienced ones. It is a simple fact of life that unless experience – in this context as distinct from promotion – is properly rewarded, then it is likely as not either to depart for pastures new or spend the rest of its career in unproductive moaning.

Put another way, if I ever sought the assistance of the police, then given the choice that I know I won’t get, I would much prefer to deal with an officer with a few years’ service than with one who’s just come out of the classroom and is still looking for the toilets down at the Kremlin at Rouge Bouillon.

So, in relation to virtually any profession or line of work, would the majority of us.
My understanding is that similar incremental scales apply in all manner of jobs. And I understand that the teaching and nursing professions are among them. Quite frankly, I’m sure most of us would hate for it to be otherwise.

Knocking the police or any public sector pay group for the money they earn verges on the cheap, and is not far off the nasty. It’s something I never expected from Senator Le Marquand. I would have thought that with his following, he’d never have to resort to stunts like that. And I’ll be interested to see how he wriggles out of it when he next addresses the boys and girls in blue.

As to Trevor Pitman’s assertion that the States of Jersey police is the highest-paid force in Europe, I’d have thought that something like that, with all the factors involved in determining such an issue, would be impossible to prove.

Perhaps he’d like to tell the tax-paying public precisely how he reached that conclusion, and provide us all with details of salaries, allowances and living costs in the jurisdictions to which he referred.

To make it simpler, I for one wouldn’t mind if he just completed the exercise for each member state of the European Union – there are only 27 of them – and forgot about the rest. Like many people who work in Rouge Bouillon, I suspect, I look forward to the response.

AND finally … having spent what must be years of my life swimming either in or around Havre des Pas pool (the only time I get wet from saltwater these days is when ormering, and their stocks have been depleted by the dreaded double-D of divers and disease), I’ve a lot of sympathy with the recent gripe from reader Rachel Scrimger about swimming facilities.
Her husband tried to take their young daughter for a swim early one morning a couple of Saturdays ago. Les Quennevais pool was closed because of a competition and the Aquasplash on the Waterfront was open only for lessons.

You’d think that with the millions that have been thrown in the direction of these two facilities over the years, some of it could have been spent on each providing the other with details of when they are open for general public use – ordinary swimming, if you like – and ensuring that other things don’t clash.

All they need is phones – one each end – and a phone book. Then it’s just a case of ‘We’ve got a competition on such an such a day, so can you lot cover the ordinary swimmers?’ and Mr and Mrs Scrimger’s 3½-year-old will have her dip for an hour or so and then go home tired and happy, just like we used to after Sunday school treats.
It’s not rocket science, you know.