There are only two certainties in larf; death and taxes.

So said the great Benjamin Frankenstein, who clearly hadn’t spent tarm over yer otherwarse he’d have added ‘ruddy stupid decisions bah the States’ to his list. He was wrong, anyway, cos if yer a foreign business makin’ money over yer in Jersey you pay ZERO tax as a result of one of them aforementioned daft decisions made a few yers back.

The States was worried that all them businessmen were gonna run screamin’ if we asked them to contribute in any way to the community that was feedin’ their profits. Far easier to fund the pinstripe brigade’s free stay bah taxin’ us locals instead. We can’t run anywhere, you see. We’re stuck yer lark sittin’ ruddy ducks.

Thus the introduction of the controversial 3% Goods and Service tax back in 2008, despart a mass protest of some 19,000 signatures. As if thet weren’t bad enough, them at the top are now askin’ us fer good ideas on how to snag more of our cash. May as well go ask yer Xmas turkey whether he’d prefer to be served boiled, roasted or raw!

So what do they need all this ruddy tax for, ah yer you askin’? Well, we got all them civil servants earning triple figure sums to look after, we got various cocked up projects need subsidisin’, we got people suspended on full pay thet want renumeratin’, we got this, we got that, we got all manner of ways of convertin’ money to crep.

Raht ruddy mess if you ask me. Meks you long fer the day when all that was expected of a man was a glimpse of his broccoli and a bundle of spuds. Could be worse, marnd; at least the shops ain’t chargin’ 20% VAT lark they do on the mainland. What’s thet you say? Some of them ARE?! Sods.