I SOMETIMES find myself at a loss for words at the perverse attitude this Island takes when promoting itself to the outside world.

There are also occasions when a few takes are required before something sinks into my brain, but even after giving considerable thought to the news that hotel prices on the rock are among the highest in the British Isles, I still can’t fathom out how this could possible be good news.

If a destination is seen as being pricey then does that not deter tourists from visiting? The national media habitually derides London’s reputation for charging too much for accommodation, so why is having the fifth most expensive room rates between John O’Groats and Green Island something to crow about?

Apparently this is ‘good’ news because it shows that Jersey is a popular destination where demand justifies the prices. And, if people weren’t happy to pay so much, they wouldn’t come.

Notwithstanding, all these figure show is that people who have the means to pay the top dollar are coming here – but what about those who can’t afford to? But then you need the cash to afford the airfares and the ever-escalating associated charges to get across the English Channel in the first place.

Or is there an underlying story here, that the Island prefers a ‘better’ class of visitor?

The days of cheap ‘bucket and spade’ all-inclusive package holidays are long gone. The hotels that catered for that market have made way for residential accommodation and, in the main, luxury apartments. The hotel accommodation on offer today, although greatly reduced in bed numbers, is of a higher quality – but does that make it better?

A more detailed analysis of hotel bookings could reveal a significant proportion of expenses-paid business trips between finance centres where the culture is, as we ordinary folk are now finding out to out bitter cost, one of other people’s money being no object.

Give me a good old British guest house with the personal touch and home-cooked food over fancy spa hotels anytime. Not only is the hospitality delightful, you also get a truer understanding of everyday life and an area than in a largely soulless hotel.

My disbelief at what those who govern our Island regard as plaudits remained in suspended animation a tad longer due to the news that an endorsement from the Liberal Democrats is seen as a boost for the finance centre.

Why on earth Treasury Minister Phillip Ozouf would bother to attend the Lib Dems’ annual conference is another point. By the time this column is published, will the Island know which of our beloved côterie of ministers attended this week’s Labour conference in Liverpool and who the Tories will be hosting next week at their annual jamboree?

Regardless of its current lot, the Liberal Democrats are only enjoying a snap at power because the Conservatives failed to secure the necessary majority to form a government. In doing a deal with the Tories, they sold themselves down the line, ditching long-held policies and reneging on promises made to the electorate.

Pretty much par for the course in the world of politics, you may say, but in doing so they alienated not just core supporters but the floating voters on whom they depend to secure marginal seats at national and local level.

The common-held belief among political pundits is come the next election, the Liberal Democrats will suffer from a public backlash and the UK dalliance with coalition politics will be replaced by a return to a strong two-party system of a single party in government while the second largest in terms of votes will form the opposition. The Lib Dems will again be back among the gaggle of minority parties.

Which is why I am not impressed by an endorsement from a party that so quickly ditched its principles for the opportunity to govern and, moreover, foisted policies on the country as the price of propping up the Conservatives, which the electorate had resoundingly rejected.

Now the big boys are letting us play with their balls, just how will the côterie find the right Members to take up all the invitations winging our way to attend jollies all over the world?

Election candidate Chris Whitworth, unwittingly, come up with the solution – life-size cardboard cutouts!

For all the influence our beloved politicians have when in discussions with the big boys, we might as well save money and pop a cutout in the post, to be assembled when talks start, so at least we’ll feature in the pictures. It will certainly save on air fares and accommodation, especially as political jollies tend to be held in upmarket resorts where room rates far outstrip even our expensive ones.

Seeing Mr Whitworth’s cardboard likeness among the more supposedly animate candidates sent my over-active imagination off on a tangent.

To coincide with the wedding of the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge, some bright spark designed patterns to knit your own Royal family to create the traditional scene at Buckingham Palace. It came complete with the Queen down to the offspring of the minor Royals long removed from the Civil List.

Can you imagine a States Chamber of brightly-coloured, fluffy hand-knitted Members, bumbling around like characters from those delightful children’s television programmes of old created by Oliver Postgate? My favourites were the Clangers, mouse-like creatures made from old socks who spoke in whistles.
Would we notice any difference?